“We are each gifted in a unique and important way.

It is our privilege and our adventure to discover our own special light.”

~Mary Dunbar

It’s a well known fact that 50% of all marriages currently end in divorce. Are you worried about becoming an “ex”? Does that word carry a stigma for you? No doubt you’ve heard all the nightmare stories told by others and perpetuated by the movies and television. You may even believe if you move forward you will likely become one of the divorce “wounded warriors”. This kind of thinking could lead you to  feel very insecure and lost.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Young Woman ready to start her life

Take yourself back in time, either early in your marriage, or maybe even a few years before. Think about the time when you were in a different place and ready to take on life and the world. We were all there at some point, just at different times in our lives.  

When you find that place in your mind, think about what your special passion was. We each had our own unique goals and plans for our futures. We had our eyes on our own special light.

It seemed that we were unstoppable. It also seems like it was in a previous life.

Feeling Like You’ve Lost Your Way?

Somewhere along the way we may have detoured. Other things began to take precedence. We fell in love. Maybe we compromised our careers to further our spouse’s professional growth.  Or perhaps we worked too many hours to contribute economically to the household. Maybe we focused on raising the children and maintaining the home while attempting to also maintain the relationship with our spouse. Or your scenario may have been something completely different – we are all unique

Many of us got so wrapped up in our marriages, we began to lose ourselves. For some of us, our only quality time was sleep, if we were lucky enough to actually get that. The long and short of it was, many of us were living to please everyone else, and for some of us it became very lonely or frustrating, or both. And for some, the love light just went out…

The point is, even though we have all taken different roads, we have arrived at the same divorce destination, and that is a scary place to be. But we can all pull from the strengths we had before we took the marriage route. You may not believe it now, but it is possible. Others have done it, and you can too. If only you can really dig down deep and find that spark that was once right in front of you, it can light the way for you now.

Can This Be Your New Beginning?

The adventure known as your life does not end with divorce. We each have gifts to share that will return us to the feelings that made us feel special before we were married. The financial part of the divorce, quite frankly, is stuff. Yes we need to be able to support ourselves, and that’s a totally different subject that needs attention after we get ourselves into the right mindset. Just having enough money is not going to help us find our way. The answer lies within each of us to take hold of our own special spark, recover our old dreams, modify them to adapt to where we have landed, and move forward with strength and determination.  

As the Mary Dunbar quote above says, “It is our privilege and adventure to discover our own special light.”

So many of us have done it, just don’t give up and you can too.

There is absolutely no reason for you to believe otherwise.

      If you don’t want to go it alone, remember help is just a click away.

Access my online calendar below. Let’s have a conversation and put you on the right track.

It’s my complimentary gift to you.



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Ellen Wanamaker

Ellen Wanamaker is a Divorce Financial Specialist and Communications Strategist. She began helping women with uncoupling, after her own egregious divorce from which she created a step by step system. Post-divorce, she went on to become a Matrimonial Paralegal, Mediator and Divorce Financial Specialist. Ellen's divorce strengths stem from her financial background, being a federally licensed tax practitioner for more than 25 years,, and investment and insurance advisor. She has been helping women in many stages of divorce set up their finances on autopilot. Ellen is also the author of the popular book "Divorce Starter Tools Women Need."

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