Did you know that both the financial and lifestyle outcome of your divorce and your resulting frame of mind is all based on your divorce mindset, and your emotions during the process? If not handled properly, it can break you to a point where you experience both the financial and the emotional divorce devastation for a long time after it’s all over. From what I’ve seen, most people don’t realize that there are actually two ways to approach divorce. One will break you, and the other will bring you smoothly to the life that awaits you. You have choices, but because you likely feel somewhat numb, it is important to refocus your energy and block out some of the negatives. Many say it is easier said than done. However those who are determined can do it well.

Divorce Mindset and Relaxation

It is extremely important that you stay relaxed. It will help you make your best decisions and to stay focused. You will prevent a lot of disruption to your life. It will help you to be able to maintain control and prevent having to be on any type of schedule. Do what’s best for you. Liz Taylor suggests you “Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.” Do pull yourself together, but don’t do anything that’s not something you’d normally do.

Clear your mind of the background noise so you can focus on what’s important. Some of my clients like to take a drive in the car (windows up, radio loud, singing or yelling), take a walk, or meditate.

Do whatever works for you. Just don’t do anything in front of the wrong people…

Divorce Mindset and Music

I always encourage my clients to identify and listen to music that uplifts and helps them bring their inner strength to the surface. We each have songs that make us feel good about ourselves and the best are those that energize us. They help us to reflect inside of ourselves to help tone down the stress. They make us dance and sing and give us strength to keep moving forward. It is such a popular avenue among my clients we have created a full page on my website with their contributions.

Relaxation and Focus are The Keys

This is the divorce mindset you should be looking to embrace and hold on tight. These suggestions are just the tip of the iceberg, but a very good start. There are many more.

Divorce is a very personal transition. If you have any suggestions that you would like to share, please feel free to comment below. A portion of our program is devoted to music, with contributions from both previous and current clients. You will find a list of their musical relaxation and inspiration below:

Starter Song List – contributed by our clients, past and present.

  • Kelly Clarkson – Catching My Breath
  • Sara Bareilles – Brave
  • Hailee Steinfeld – Love Myself
  • Sara Evans – A little Bit Stronger
  • Demi Lovato – Warrior
  • Patti La Belle – New Attitude
  • Christina Aguilera – Fighter
  • Donna Summer & Streisand – Enough is Enough
  • Cher – Believe
  • Rachel Platten – Fight Song
  • Sara Bareilles – Gonna Get Over You
  • Fleetwood Mac – Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow
  • Jo Dee Messina – My Give A Damn’s Busted
  • Diana Ross – It’s my Turn
  • Gloria Gaynor – I Will Survive

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Ellen Wanamaker

Ellen Wanamaker is a Divorce Financial Specialist and Communications Strategist. She began helping women with uncoupling, after her own egregious divorce from which she created a step by step system. Post-divorce, she went on to become a Matrimonial Paralegal, Mediator and Divorce Financial Specialist. Ellen's divorce strengths stem from her financial background, being a federally licensed tax practitioner for more than 25 years,, and investment and insurance advisor. She has been helping women in many stages of divorce set up their finances on autopilot. Ellen is also the author of the popular book "Divorce Starter Tools Women Need."