What Does it Mean to be C-O-N-F-I-D-E-N-T?

Confidence comes from feelings of well-being, acceptance of your body and mind (self-esteem), and belief in your own ability, skills and experience.

People who are confident share the following important characteristics:


C – CAPABLE

Confident people are capable.   They know they are good enough, competent, and can handle life’s situations.

Admitting you are capable also means knowing that if you cannot handle a situation completely on your own, you can find out where to get the necessary help, information, or skill.

Knowing you are your greatest resource protects you from stress. Believing you are capable means that whatever the task, you will handle it. By believing in yourself, you can face life with complete assurance.

O – OWN IT

Confident people own their opinions, emotions, feelings, words, and even choice of dessert. You’re you, you want what you want, and you do what you do.  No apologies. No explanation.

N – NURTURE THEMSELVES

Confident people believe in their value and worth. They feel they are worth the time, money and energy required to nurture and support themselves in their fulfillment and growth.

This could be things like taking a class to learn something new, taking time out to exercise, having quiet time to re-energize and rejuvenate, or pampering themselves with a massage or manicure.

F – FULLY PRESENT

Confident people engage in the present moment when they are with others.  They are not concerned about thinking about how they look, sound, feel or smell.

Constantly thinking about what you feel or look like takes you out of the moment. Practice not thinking about the past or the future. Concentrate on what’s in front of you — there’s probably something exciting about it.

I – INTEGRITY

Confident people are true to themselves.  They honor who they really are and will do things that honor their true selves, despite what others may say or think.  When people are true to themselves they feel more comfortable, and that produces confidence.

D – DEMEANOR

People with confidence have a physical presence.  It shows in their posture, body language, eye contact, and dress. 

If you look like a confident, capable person, people will treat you accordingly, and eventually you will start to feel it too.

E – ENDURE

Confident people don’t give up.  They take risks, know they will make mistakes, and that sometimes they will fail. 

Everyone makes mistakes and fails. If you don’t, you’re not trying hard enough. Don’t think of these as mistakes and failures as negatives, but rather as learning opportunities.  Because confident people remember that beneath their failures, mistakes and missteps, they are capable.

N – NOT ARROGANT

Confident people are not arrogant. Arrogance is detrimental to interpersonal relationships. For people who are confident it’s not about getting the praise, attention, or being better than others.

Confident people lift others up.  They give others credit for their work, encourage progress, and offer compliments and sincere praise.

T – TAKE ACTION

Confident people take action.  We all want to do or try certain things but fear we may fail. These feeling are normal. The difference is that a confident person will act on their ambitions and desires and will not let the fear of failure stop them.

The more we take action, the more our confidence grows.

We try something and are successful, and the next time around it feels easier to do it again. 

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Ellen Wanamaker

Ellen Wanamaker is a Divorce Financial Specialist and Communications Strategist. She began helping women with uncoupling, after her own egregious divorce from which she created a step by step system. Post-divorce, she went on to become a Matrimonial Paralegal, Mediator and Divorce Financial Specialist. Ellen's divorce strengths stem from her financial background, being a federally licensed tax practitioner for more than 25 years,, and investment and insurance advisor. She has been helping women in many stages of divorce set up their finances on autopilot. Ellen is also the author of the popular book "Divorce Starter Tools Women Need."